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Feminism isn’t NICE.

There is no way in polite society I can discuss pro-feminist issues like a lady.

Imagine this scenario: a church potluck; families in their Sunday best, ignoring the slight discomfort of their full bellies , reclining, slightly in their folding chairs around long, out-dated banquet tables… to your left, Aunt Irma is starting to nod-off… on right side, a tired mother, holding a baby on her lap, watching lazily, as he throws his whole body weight into a failed grab for the food on her plate… children, running off their spare energy. The pastor has just given a very thought-provoking message on the blessings of tithing, and you feel inspired to study out the scriptures he used and increase your giving.

Just then, as you least suspect it, that crazy redhead across the table from you (that would be me) leans in your direction and says in a loud voice,

“Did you know that so-and-so’s daughter was acquaintance raped while walking back from the campus library last Wednesday? I understand she reported it to campus security, but after taking her report, she’s been on the receiving end of some pretty abusive comments and slut-shaming. I’m worried.  We should get involved!”

You won’t need to stretch yourself to imagine the abrupt silence that would follow.

When I was in high school, a size eight was considered the perfect size for women. I was very slender from ballet, and when I quit, I added a size over the summer and got a lot of attention because of my tiny curves. I don't think I hit a size eight until after my first child was born. I stayed a constant size ten after giving birth to five kids. I generally reached about 190 lbs during my pregnancies... I was not one of those mamas with a perfect orb and a willowy frame.  I was a ripe, red, shiny apple, with long hair that was unmanageable because of pregnancy hormones, but I refused to cut it because it was so long and had taken me years to grow. I was BIG, and had long, stringy hair. 

Which is more destructive... The TRUTH or a LIE? 

John 8:32 says, "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Both the Talmud and Anaïs Nin both say, "We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as we are.” What happens when our eyes are opened and we are presented with the TRUTH, unfiltered by personal experiences and perceptions and we are forced to ACT? Everything about ourselves, our thought-processes, our soapboxes, our relationships, shifts, and is subject to re-investigation, and ultimately, destruction.

I've always leaned towards beliefs that favor mysticism and goddess and nature worship, especially as I tend to be prone to lapse into voodoo when the moon looks at me funny. My Rainbow brothers and sisters don't call me Voodoo Annie because its cute. At the 2000 Montana Rainbow Gathering, I had a fat baby in my belly and was dancing (topless) in the high noon circle, and the Spirit of God POURED Himself over me, BATHING me in love and opening my eyes to TRUTH. Everything I valued most was before me, but because my eyes had been opened, for the first time, I could see that it was essentially meaningless, especially contrasted with the glory of God. I was so high, I couldn't speak, only laugh and cry and gesture inarticulately towards the sky. I hadn't eaten a single mushroom. No cannabis. No dmt. Nada. 

I'm a twin, and have wonderful memories of earliest years; I can turn my thoughts back and see in my mind a memory of seeing my brother in a diaper in his crib, standing up and holding on to a bar with his right hand and reaching towards me through the bars of his crib with his left. I can see his expressive eyes, and translate his baby-babble by what his eyes were telling me. I remember specific details about that memory; the room lit with sunshine and the sound of the plastic covered mattress when he adjusted his feet to keep his balance. I remember his asking me if he should wake up our mommie, and when the decision was made, he would call out to her.

Her answer was somewhere in the distance... "Its too early... Its not time yet.... go back to sleep."