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I was pregnant or nursing for nearly TEN YEARS. Sometimes, I was pregnant and nursing simultaneously. I had so much milk, oh, dear lord... SO much milk... I slept with a towel under me and a cloth diaper clutched to my bare chest, to keep us all from drowning when my milk let down when my babies nursed in their sleep. 

When you're nursing, you experience such an incredible connection to you baby and all women; I hated the store-bought nursing pads for their sterile appearance, as if my nursing were an unfortunate aspect of my gender that must be sterilized. 




 
 
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While saving the planet one craft project at a time, it may feel a little bit off to you to buy supplies necessary to make the magic happen. Do not be alarmed. This is the voice of Universe, telling you that She is getting disgruntled with all our waste products piling up in the landfill, and that She's developing a nasty cough from the airborne pollutants emitted during the manufacturing process. Listen to your Mother. Much of what you would pay unreasonable prices for can be found in Nature or within your community, if you know where to look.


 
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    Welcome to the ALTER-LIFE.

    The purpose of upcycling is to reduce the carbon footprint we leave behind and to eliminate our dependence on manufactured goods, which both keeps unwanted items out of the landfill and creates a sense of independence from the system of consumerism. 

    The good news for the environment is that as more trash is upcycled, less trash is ending up in landfills. It also lowers the consumption of raw materials, air pollution from waste incineration, and water pollution from leaking into landfills.

    PLUS, when you upcycle used items into something new, you get the added benefit of the satisfaction of knowing that you BEAT THE SYSTEM. It tried to outsmart you, but FAILED, MISERABLY. You were able to look consumerism squarely in the eye and tell it, "Go home to your mama with your tail between your legs. Go back to Washington, you BAD DOG."

    You can say to yourself, "NOBODY,  not NOBODY, not big business, NOT the Jones', NOT the government, NOT celebutantes with their vicious little yipper dogs growling with bared teeth from an expensive purse can tell ME what I should like or how I should feel about myself!"

    You can safely enter into another higher-functioning elitist class... the UPCYCLERS.

    People will see you walking down the street with a striking gate in your walk that speaks confidence to onlookers, and they will open doors for you as their jaws drop and they think to themselves, WOW.

    You will awaken so much inert creativity in yourself that you have no choice to open an Etsy account. The money earned will be twice as valuable, because its not DIRTY MONEY like that you'd earn from selling your soul to McDonalds or Nike or the Nestle Corporations, companies you know are taking advantage of workers from impoverished nations by making them work in unsafe conditions for barely any money, in countries who don't have environmental pollutant laws, so they can rape our ecosystem with toxic gasses that contribute to the greenhouse effect.

    You will be able to win New Souls to the Upcycling Lifestyle. Perhaps you can start a commune. Perhaps your commune can file for nonprofit tax status and claim cannabis as an integral part of your spiritual practice. Because, you see, your Honor, its GREEN. And GREEN is what we do.

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